On the wall of my studio I drafted out a time-line for Veltas’ Journey’ which bullet points the 18 months of her displacement in time and events. I have not moved from the first bullet point! There are 5 canvases and I haven’t moved from # 1 yet!
Velta went through so much, but she counts herself lucky and unlucky.
She counts herself lucky because she was very young but had met up with 6 other girls of a similar age and they stuck close together for much of this time oblivious to the wider hidden horrors which were being staged all over europe. All the girls days were geared to searching for the next piece of bread and the warmest place to sleep.
She felt unlucky because they all became desensitised to walking over dead bodies and body parts without thought or feeling.
More importantly to her and a fact which causes her a great deal of sorrow, even today, is that she lost every single one of those girls who kept her going, becoming the only living survivor.
Although she witnessed terror and death over a prolonged period she did not know until after the war what was occuring in any other place but only the place she was in.
She feels in retrospect she was both naive and fortunate.
In no way do wish to present ‘blood and guts’ to the viewer, rather I feel I need to persevere with an even more concentrated effort to truly exorcise this particular episode with my best interpretation of the events and sincerely hope that the pain of these events show through.
You may well understand now why I am finding it difficult to create my current paintings/interpretations of her horrors and the horrors of WW2.
When I finally find the best portrayal of my own feelings of the subject,( and I will know when I get there) only then will I allow myself to be catapulted onto the next chapters.
I have to admit that I feel I am on a journey myself and have shed a few tears over in my attempts to get these images to feel ‘right’ .
Velta had many happy though fleeting moments many were simple acts of kindness which for the girls gave them hope.
