August 15th, 2008.
It has taken two weeks and a prompt from an outside source to finally do the first instalment for this Blog. I have not consciously avoided putting finger to key pad, but have embraced the community and privileges here that enable radio silence responses (or non response) to be the norm. Someone said here that the time you have here is like filling up a jug of work, when you contact home, email people, etc its like pulling the plug. In some ways that does feel like the case and you throw yourself wholeheartedly into working, and getting to know people. In some ways this is not the case too. Too much involvement feels choking and self defeating, and my work now seems to be going backwards after 8 days straight. As always balance is the key. Necessary though, is setting yourself up in your space, locating yourself geographically and getting used to the patterns and rhythms of the Centre.
The timing of things here has been uncanny. Like the coincidences of travel, such as hearing the same word several times over when you’ve not heard it for years, seeing butterflies everywhere, and other Coelho-ian* signs….the visting artist to the Centre this week has pierced the problems I have been having in my work and expressed them with a clarity I was not able to find. I have been working intensively on drawings for 8 days, some I am happy with, but there’s something inherently wrong. And this is the nature of making work (of any form) riding out the internal arguing voices, the black holes, and the grey voids and coming up with a solution. I know this happens, but when the insecurities grow bigger than you and become a world themselves you know its time to seek more experienced counsel and that voice of clarity.
Nari Ward is an established sculpture/installation artist who has exhibited twice at the Whitney Biennale and his work is collected and shown across Europe and the U.S– he presented a talk of his work to the Centre this week. His work is monumental in scale and emotionally moving. The visiting artists here are an exceptionally beneficial feature of this residency and to have the contact with this level of experienced artist outside of a higher education course is rare. Nari Ward effortlessly summarised my problems (I knew they were there but had not been able to find vocabulary for it) and released me somewhat of my self imposed restrictions. I was able to step out of my pen and back into running around free. After the discussion I was back to work with renewed energy and it felt like the work was pouring out, that it was moving again, I was very, very grateful.
* Paulo Coehlo, see ‘The Alchemist’
