I’m starting this blog probably with the sorts of questions that all other blog-starters have in their head at the beginning. So I’ll leave those out.
Although the course has only just started, so far, I’m incredibly impressed, and I feel very excited and lucky. Lucky I saw the information in time to apply (just), lucky I am in a position to be able to do it.
I came away from the induction full of doubt about my work; we had each presented a piece but not received feedback. On the one hand, I am eternally grateful for this – a group crit in front of strangers could have been excruciating. But then, I’m capable of a harsh self-crit too. I came away thinking (about the piece I had presented) ‘but it’s just a drawing of a cow’. And then I realised, it’s no more ‘just’ a drawing of a cow, than E’s work was ‘just’ a silver bottle, or H’s work was ‘just’ some ceramic forms. None of them were ‘just’ anything. Including mine.
I also learned something about the challenges I will face in placing myself in the art world on a professional level; we made a ‘map’ of the art world and were asked to locate ourselves within it. I ended up locating myself (psychically) outside the window looking in. On the way home, with time to consider this I realised 2 things:
1 – I am extremely wary of the commodifying nature of parts of the art world. Of course there are artists who successfully refuse commodification. But still, if we need to earn a living, it’s a temptation and potentially a trap.
2 – How to maintain integrity within this world – integrity as an artist, and integrity as a person.
I’m aware that probably this tension is something most artists deal with on an ongoing basis, but it’s the first time I’ve articulated them in relation to my own practice and some of the insecurities I feel as an artist.
Here is my drawing of a cow that is not ‘just’ a drawing of a cow, even whilst it is.
