We are on holiday again. This is the last girls only week we’ll probably have. This week mum was 82 and we celebrated her birthday by drinking champagne and eating good food. Present were me and my sister and our daughters, my niece and her two children, who are my great nieces…..I am a GREAT aunt and all that implies. I bought my brand new sketchbook and went and sat on the beach to christen it. I’ve made images up here for many years and just enjoy the act of doing. Of putting colours and lines down on paper, just for the hell of it. But as I sat there watching the world go by and noting down little scenarios on the beach, I begin to think I’m getting to the essence of how my work will evolve. Despite tinkering with stitched textiles and rust dying and natural dying and many other things, the one thing that truly fascinates me is people and what they do. I make up little stories about them based on a momentary glimpse of something they say or do. I call this “observing” and was taught the art of people watching by my mum and her friend while on holiday in Tenerife many years ago. Now I can’t stop it and have little scraps of paper all over the place with scenarios I have witnessed. The question is do I want to take these forward? How do I want to take them forward? I need to begin a series of experimentation with ideas. I’ve started to look at past works I’ve done and analyse what I’ve done and do I like it and want to repeat it?
So, you see, I do have something to do after the great Edinburgh university drop off. I have a plan to keep me functioning. Well, I’m hoping I do.
Oooooooooooooooooooo, it’s getting nearer. The daughter leaving home thing. About 3 weeks to go. Don’t really want to think about the exact time left to get everything sorted. At the moment I’m having an epic battle of my own, with fleas. They’ve been on steroids and have taken over the girl’s bedroom. This makes me believe that my world is normal place and once the fleas have gone (everything crossed), she can just go back in there and scatter her stuff all over the floor as usual. But this won’t be the case will it? We’ve been having conversations all year about the garden and what we’ll plant but then saying “Oh but you won’t be here. I’ll send some pictures” Now that time is almost upon us. I had this belief that once she’d gone I would be up in my attic space happily creating and sorting out my artistic practice with a passion and a focus. And I believed this. But now I’m not so sure. I managed to complete a sketchbook that’s been on the go since 2015. We were on holiday and I’d look at this mountain opposite and just respond to whatever was going on with the weather or the sounds. It was brilliant. And I began to experiment with a textile piece. (Slight pause here to investigate strange flea shaped object on the keyboard) But right here at this moment I can’t imagine what the hell I’m going to do with this work or how I might want to take it forward or actually, I don’t even want to think about arty stuff. I’m obsessing about the fleas because it gives me a focus and a clear purpose to my existence. As with the wasps in Germany, the girl expects the mother to sort her out and make her safe from fleas. But what am I going to do when she’s up in Edinburgh? What if she gets wasp and flea infestations? What if what if what if?????? I don’t know do I? None of us do. Just going to have to wait a bit longer to find out.
