working the shells

the puppy makes her way into the kitchen and i get to sit and reflect about my day, a good one to be inside while the gentle drizzle waters the rhubarb and tomatoes.

after my day of recovery i was well poised this morning to make my preparations for things to come this week.

starting with the more difficult to prepare, i made myself comfortable at the dining table and set up my drawing machine to make it ready for friday’s event at the museum and art gallery in derby.

finding lines a co-produced exhibition of drawing over seen by andrea hadley johnson opens to the public with a fantastical evening of surprise drawing events alongside the works in the gallery.  my invitation arrived through social media to take part in the opening event and from what i know already social media has played a large tole in putting together #findinglines.

after clearing the kitchen of the pots and containers we’ve left to amass so they annoy us i turned my attention to preparing for tomorrow.  another cpd event for me, i’m going to be running a workshop on how to whittle a fox that can be used repeatidley to make a skulk of foxes.  the workshop is hapening at the derbyshire forest school day,  an annual networking and sharing event organised by the team who co-ordinate forest school in derbyshire.  my approach for the workshop is an experimental one and this caught the eye of one member of the organising team to the point of her wanting to assist me so she can assess how the method works.

my preparations are going well, just wood preparations to do after some food.  working with materials is easier than with code, i think i made the right decision about which order to do the preparations.

while this short term work is happening i also find myself having moments of considering things a little further away.

one of these is … how might i express myself in my work ?

during the days after the tradegy of the grenfell fire, i learnt of Khadija Saye.  i watched a video about her.  the video spoke of what she expressed through her work.  as i processed the tragedy and what i had learnt in the video that question started to be asked of myself, by myself.

to be able to express one self feels like a powerful thing and one i’ve not been exploring too much in an intentional manner in my practice for a while.

reflecting about this i see that in having some time of from expressive works has given me time to play, explore and have fun.  i remember a lecturers remarks during a group crit at university… “make stuff and then attach meaning to it.”   at the time i wasn’t sure if this method has integrity but maybe i was just being too precious.  one might argue that everything one does is connected my meaning and integrity because it all comes from oneself.

while giving myself space away from the question of what am i expressing i have made practice gains and i’ a lot happier.

perhaps the question about meaning and expression is one that i need a lot longer to answer than it takes to prepare for a workshop and celebration event.

a thought occurred to me this evening, what if i’m where i should be now after a long secondary primary route?  i’m starting to believe in myself within one facet of what i currently do.

today i’ve been facilitating in two sessions.  the second was a first for me and the first was a development of something i’ve been practicing for almost a year now.

for that particular year i’ve been practising the idea of loose parts play with a museum setting in derby.  this morning i took that session to inspire a 2 hour activity workshop for under 8’s and their adults.

this evening i’ve made a very quick reflection about what if after all the angst and uncertainty i’m now actually meant to be.  i feel i can set up and run a loose parts play session and today showed me i can.

being part of derby museums has enabled me to feel good about myself, believe in myself and this is beginning to under pin potential within other facets of myself.

i’m tired but i feel good.

(this post was written in the evening of 9th july 2017)

after my slightly bizarre post last night, this evening i’m starting to feel and its a good feeling.  the view through the window is warm evening sunshine bathing the bricks of the buildings over the road and these are backed by light cloud sitting in a light blue sky.  the puppy is in full on relax mode after shes helped in the garden this afternoon.

today has been our last tuesday night forest school for this school year.  a lovely relaxed session in a sun bathed wood.  we celebrated with popcorn and smores made over an open fire.  a year on from qualifing and i feel ready to move the practice forward.  next week i’ll share with other leaders how to whittle a skulk of foxes at the derbyshire forest school day.

the feeling in my making/ art practice is good.  the curator of the finding lines exhibition at the derby museum and art gallery has picked up on the drawing machine and i’ve been invited to be a surprise drawing experience at the exhibition opening.

the feeling as a learning facilitator continues to feel better.  i’ve learnt a load being part of the creative sessions held in celebration of the weeping windows installation at the silk mill.  in my summer role as learning assistant i’ve also learnt a load about managing activities at a very active and busy site.

i’ve been in the learning assistant post 4 weeks now and i’m beginning to manage how i can meet my responsibilities in that role while also working on the commission for a second non linear film.

it feels like all my biorhythmic curves have aligned in a harmonious manner, it feels good, sounds good, looks good.

i remembered that time and tide wait for no man.  this is of course ancedotal and for the love of me i can’t remember who told me.  of course how they found out i do not know.

the recent heat wave has abated and my view of the world is with cloud.  i’m tired and my writing is starting to lean toward the obtuse.

a month into the summer job and my level of background tiredness is high.

i stop to survey the room.  the puppy has had a jog walk this evening and is diagonally laying across two seats of a three seater sofa.  i love how a small animal can stretch out to command so much space.

this evening i’ve updated my facebook profile picture, time to accept the passing of dog number one and continue.

the image is a result of a collaboration.

i have to admit my tiredness is starting to hold me back. do you mind if i quickly unpack the last few weeks and make a cup of tea and relax ?

in amongst the summer job i’ve also been doing some education based projects.  one of these was being part of the team representing the derby museums trust at the big bang exhibition at the derby roundhouse.

the second iteration of the drawing machine amused and thrilled visitors and staff alike.  i got this lovely photo just before the doors opened and the madness began.

there were over 100 images made during the show, i’m going to try and select some favourites now to share with you …

in my quick looking over the images again my tiredness short circuited the choices.  that is an in accurate sentence as my tiredness isn’t actually capable of making decisions … so i actually chose 6 images really quickly avoiding the really pristene images as they in part were made my me in the odd times that we were without visitation.

just before i share the images with you i was going to add something more but one of the girls came into the room and i forgot … oh hang on i remembered what it was . …

i was going to say despite the tiredness i’m really enjoying the summer job.

where i’m sitting is a bit eerie, it’s slightly dark with no view of the outside world.  the heatwave at the moment giving opportunities to practice making shade and keeping cool.  our puppy still insists on looking out of the window.

reflecting upon my last post i see i was preparing for the open arts exhibition.  i thought about writing about wether or not as a concept the open arts model needs modernising and staging in a more place by place way and i’d just started to write when the puppy started barking at someone and i totally forgot what it was i was going to tell you.

our visitor numbers were low for the open arts, which was nice as it gave us more time to talk and i had time to play with some new equipment in preparation for the up coming second iteration of silk mill non linear film.

the three works i showed proved to be interesting for visitors and they sparked many interesting conversations.  on sunday we had several families arrive at once and the children amused themselves with the drawing machine while parents wandered and perused.

in the evening we gathered at home and cooked dinner on an open fire in the back garden.  of all our meals this was my favourite.

while preparing for the open arts i also applied for a temporary freelance job at the derby silk mill museum.  they were looking for an assistant for the lifelong learning programme, i applied and have been successful.  the job is being shared between me and another assistant and as we familiarise ourselves with the summer programme i think its a good thing there are two of us.

the silk mill is currently hosting the weeping window poppy installation.  on the opening weekend i was part of a facilitation team working a ‘make your own poppy’ workshop.  it was also the derby book festival book fair.  i’d never experienced the mill so full of people.

the making workshop uses a representation of the front cover of the local newspaper from 100 years ago to the day.

we have 6 saturdays worth of newspapers and it struck me when looking at them how life carried on at home while in central europe unimaginable things were happening.  the local theatre had a different show every week.

this has underpinned an insight i got while helping our oldest daughter some years ago with homework about the second world war.  her work was looking at tea dances and life at home during the war.  until this my perception of war was very much focussed upon the fighting.  as i’ve gotten older i have become aware of how there can be atrocity and killing happening in the country and the world while at home, life appears to remain the same.