working the shells

as much as i like the first few days of a new year, i’m also quite uncomfortable.  for a start i have this new blog and i’m struggling to remember it’s title.

i’m struggling because for the first time in a few years i’ve moved away from past experience for a title.  this year is very much trusting the moment and going with an instintive feeling for it’s source.

i’ve trusted my instinct for an application submitted today.  during the production of the application i listened to my inner self with regard to what was working and what was not.  i’m happy to report that at the point of submission i felt i’d made as strong an application as possible.  this obviously was questioned by myself just hours afterwards.  in a few days i’ll know the outcome.

in preparing my submission i made something that at the time i was so excited to do.  this afternoon i gave it space on instagram  my black square is my version of a 1923 painting and part of the new line of research that feeds into the application.

while i was working on the black square one of our girls became very interested in it and we spoke of it for a while.  after a few moments consideration came the question “what about the black circle?”

ummm …

anyway the black square.  in looking at it on line today i get a sense of feeling developed by personal space of the square.  i’m pleased to have experienced this.

the black circle presented some interesting challenges that i was able to meet.

both these images have overall sizes that are quite small, yet still the size of the image within that space speak to me very differently based on the size of the shape.

i’m really enjoying this research.

i love the notion of how january 1st each year is a beautifully pure state in which multitudes are possible.  in those first few hours of the new year all the best bits of history informing what becomes into existence.

i spent a lot of yesterday thinking back to new years eve 1999.  memories of that evening are mixed.  i’ll not dwell on it too long now.  i think i needed to record for myself that that night was on my mind and i’ve lost people from that evening and yes it makes me sad.

[ i take a few moments ]

i am happier now.

i can remember new years eves where i was so optimistic about the year being a better one for me yet i was short in personal belief about it being so.

after my hi hat and snare year i do believe in myself and how my potential this year is better than it has been in past new year days.

i know i have a lot of hard work ahead of me.  this isn’t an issue as i’ve always put a lot of effort into what i do.  the difference now is that i have a tenable sense of why i’m doing it.  i feel less lost.